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Once you have decided, in consultation with your fertility specialist, that surrogacy is the right option for you, it’s up to you to find a person willing to act as a surrogate. This is not an easy task. Some options include:

• letting family/friends know that surrogacy is your only option
• asking family or friends for help
• seeking a surrogate online (surrogacy support groups or online forums)

It is important to:

• Understand that decisions may affect your relationship with them in the future if they are not comfortable with the idea.
• Reassure those involved that you’ll understand if they don’t feel able or comfortable to do this for you. It is better that they are honest rather than going ahead if they have doubts.

It is illegal to publish an advertisement or notice or attempt to publicly seek a surrogate. Fertility clinics cannot advertise on your behalf. You are not allowed to pay a surrogate other than prescribed costs here. 

You can find out more about the process of surrogacy and how to find a surrogate here.

You can find out more about becoming a surrogate here.

As with those who are seeking a surrogate, Victorian law prevents people from advertising or publishing that they are willing to act as a surrogate. This includes advertising that you are willing to accept benefits under a surrogacy arrangement. The most common scenario is that someone known personally to the intended parent(s) acts as the surrogate.

Surrogacy arrangements in which a surrogate uses her own eggs is known as traditional surrogacy.

In Victoria, fertility clinics are only permitted to practise gestational surrogacy. This means that the surrogate is implanted with an embryo created using an egg from another woman (either the intended parent or donated from another woman).

However, without the involvement of a fertility clinic, traditional surrogacy is permitted. If you are considering traditional surrogacy, VARTA recommends that you obtain legal advice, especially with respect to obtaining legal parentage of any child born.

Find out more about surrogacy arrangements here.

The possible health effects of surrogacy are similar to that of IVF. These can include:

• Effects on the child born as a result of the treatment.
• Effects on the egg provider. Reactions to fertility drugs include hot flushes, feelings of depression or irritation, headaches and restlessness. There is also a small risk of ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome (OHSS), which can cause stomach pains, nausea, vomiting, shortness of breath and faintness.
• Effects on the surrogate. These include the usual risks associated with any pregnancy and birth. These risks are increased with the age of the surrogate.
• There is also the rare risk of transfer of HIV and/or hepatitis. To eliminate this risk, mandatory screening of everyone involved in surrogacy is required. To enhance safety, embryos are also ‘quarantined’ for six months (although this time period may vary from clinic to clinic), at the end of which, before proceeding with the embryo transfer, any infections or diseases are screened for a second time. For more detail about the risks involved in surrogacy, please consult your fertility specialist.

The cost of surrogacy varies significantly based on location, number of cycles required and individual circumstances. Surrogacy Australia estimates an average cost of around $55,000 - $75,000 over a two-year period. This includes costs such as legal fees, non-rebatable IVF, mandatory counselling, allowable surrogate compensation, insurance and travel, and transfer of parentage.

In 2017-18, 35 women received fertility treatment as surrogates in Victorian clinics, and 13 babies were born as part of surrogacy arrangements.

In 2017-18, 35 women received fertility treatment as surrogates in Victorian clinics, and 13 babies were born as part of surrogacy arrangements.

The Assisted Reproductive Treatment Act 2008 contains various consent provisions. These provisions relate to issues such as the withdrawal of consent and what happens in the event of death. These are discussed during counselling, before you consent to treatment, and in the forms that you sign.

Before using donated gametes, consider:

• Family. What are your ideas about family? Is genetic connection a priority? Have you taken time and space to grieve the loss of not being genetically related to your child, including physical resemblance and family history? It is important that you feel confident and comfortable regardless of your child’s genetic origins.
• Your donor. If you know your donor, how might their donating affect your relationship with them? If you do not know your donor, what characteristics (i.e. intelligence, health) are important when choosing your donor?
• Relationships. What will the donor’s role be in relation to your child? Who and what will you tell your family, friends and, most importantly, your child?
• Access to information. Consider that your child may want more information about their donor or may want to contact them when they are older. Consider how you would feel if you were contacted by the donor for information or to meet.
• Legal implications. Understand the legal implications of your decisions here. Seek legal advice before proceeding.

Having doubts and fears is normal. It is important that you think through and discuss any concerns you have. Talking to your partner, close friends or family, known donor, or your counsellor are good ways to explore issues further. You may want to contact a support group or talk to others who have been through it before you make a decision.

Recipient parent(s) receiving the donor treatment are the legal parent(s), responsible for all parental decisions. Donors have no legal rights or responsibilities in relation to the child.

The parent’s name(s) will appear on the birth certificate as the legal parent(s). The donor’s name will not appear on the birth certificate. The Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages will also mark ‘donor-conceived’ against their record of the child’s birth. When a birth certificate is issued to an adult donor-conceived person conceived from 2010, a second page is attached stating that more information about their birth is available. The second page of the birth certificate can be removed so that it can be used for official purposes, such as applying for a passport, without revealing that they were donor-conceived.

If the donor-conceived person requests more information, they will be informed that their details are on  VARTA’s Central Register. If they did not know previously, they will then find out that they were donor-conceived.

One of the most common concerns shared by non-biological parents is whether they will bond with their baby. However, once their baby is born, many say they are surprised by how easily and quickly they bond and how natural it feels.

Options for finding a donor include using a fertility clinic donor, advertising or using a known donor. If you are using a known donor, consider where, when and how you will raise the topic so that you both feel comfortable here.

If you would like to advertise for an egg, sperm or embryo donor, you will need to apply for approval from the Health Minister before it is published. This includes sending your draft advertisement for approval to:
Minister for Health
Department of Health and Human Services GPO BOX 4541
Melbourne VIC 3000
Email Address: art.enquiries@dhhs.vic.gov.au

The language used to describe the donor may vary and can include ‘Dad/Mum’ (coparenting), ‘donor Dad/Mum’, the donor’s first name, ‘special helper’, ‘generous man/lady’, ‘nice egg lady’ or some variation. The use of names; the relationship between parent,  donor, and child; and the donor’s role and responsibilities are  unique to each family.

Recipient parent(s) receiving donor treatment are the legal parent(s) responsible for all parental decisions. Donors have no legal rights or responsibilities in relation to the child.
A common fear is that the donor will not be able to let go of parental responsibility and will want to intrude or interfere with your family. It is important that everyone involved including partners (if any) express how they feel about the arrangement, roles and consent.

Many non-biological parents worry about their role in the family, particularly their role in relation to their child. This can be challenging for some people, especially in same-sex relationships, as there are no established societal norms for their relationship. Some techniques for overcoming this include sharing the practical parenting responsibilities (e.g. feeding and caring) and time spent parenting. Flexible working arrangements (e.g. working part-time, working from home) can help to share the primary-care role.
Regardless of the roles in your family, love, commitment and shared values are good building blocks for any family.

Regardless of the roles in your family, love, commitment and shared values are good building blocks for any family. Most same-sex parents say that while biology can be important it does not affect how they love their children. Gay fathers may not feel the anxieties associated with being a non-biological parent as keenly, or for as long, because they don’t have to deal with issues of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. While for non-biological lesbian mothers, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding can sometimes be difficult and they may experience feelings of grief and loss or feel excluded. Once the child stops breastfeeding, they often say there is no longer any difference between them and they feel more secure in their role and in their relationship with their child.

Listen to them. Acknowledgement and support go a long way to help non-biological parents feel secure in their role.

Discuss any concerns you have with your partner, close friends or family, known donor or your counsellor. It can also be helpful to contact a support group or hear from others who have had similar experiences.

How this may affect you and your family. Will you tell your extended family and friends? Consider the genetic connection to your own children and other members of your extended family.

You will not be a legal parent of a donor-conceived child and will not appear on the birth certificate. You will have no legal rights or obligations to the parent(s) or child born as a result of your donation. How will you feel towards the person/people you help create?

• How this may affect you and your family. Will you tell your extended family and friends? Consider the genetic connection to your own children and other members of your extended family.
• You will not be a legal parent of a donor-conceived child and will not appear on the birth certificate. You will have no legal rights or obligations to the parent(s) or child born as a result of your donation. How will you feel towards the person/people you help create?
• The people to whom you donate may have different values, backgrounds, beliefs, and parenting styles from your own. How do you feel about that?
• The information you would like to share and type of relationship you would like in future with the recipient parents and donor-conceived person.
• If you donate to someone you know, what relationship and contact will you have with the recipient parent(s) and child. What will your role be and what will they call you?