Data on applications to the Voluntary Register during 2019-20 show there is about a one in three chance of finding a match. That is, a match with somebody you are related to via donor conception who also wants to exchange information or connect. As more people lodge their information on the Voluntary Register, the greater the chance of finding a match.

Regardless of when the donor donated, the donor has no legal rights or obligations to a child born as a result of a donation. Donors are not the legal parent and do not appear on your child’s birth certificate. Donors are not responsible for maintenance or any financial responsibility towards your child.

Donor-conceived people do not have a legal claim on a donor’s estate.

Once they reach 18 years, a donor-conceived person can apply for information held on VARTA’s donor conception registers. Donor- conceived children can also access information earlier if a VARTA counsellor considers them to be sufficiently mature or if they have parental consent. They may also be able to find out if they have any donor siblings and potentially connect with them via the Voluntary Register

• Medical history
• Who am I related to?
• What does my donor look like?
• What is their personality like?
• Are we alike?
• Why did they donate?

There are a number of peer support and online groups.

There are a number of Facebook groups that exist to support donor-conceived people and parents/recipients considering donor treatment or that have created their families with the help of donated eggs, sperm, or embryos. Some are listed below:

Australian Donor-Conceived People Network

This closed Facebook group is for donor-conceived people across Australia and New Zealand. It is a safe space to discuss what it means to be donor-conceived. You will be asked some questions before you are admitted to the group to establish that you are donor-conceived.

Australian Donor Conception Network

This Facebook group enables members to stay in-touch in-between social events - it is also especially important for members who live in regional areas and can't make it to many social events in the cities.
The group is administered by individual members. Details of the Facebook group is provided on acceptance of membership.

Embryo Donation Mums Australia

Join this new Facebook group to meet other Aussie mums with children born from embryo donation.

Australia Solo Mothers by Choice - SMC - Mum

This is a closed Facebook group for women who have decided to have a child on their own with the help of a donor or adoption. It is for women who are either contemplating, going through or are already a solo parent to a donor conceived or adopted child.  

Donor conceived people, parents, siblings and all donors discussion group

This closed Facebook group is for people involved in donor conception, regardless of position in the spectrum.

Donor Children Australia

This closed Facebook group was created to provide support for Australian donor-conceived children's parents, Australian egg/sperm/embryo donors looking to connect with families resulting from donations and those new to the world of donor conception. This group could also be a network to connect with other donor family or other donor conceived families.

It is particularly frustrating if your records are unavailable.

If you have found your donor via DNA testing or social networks, you can contact VARTA for support and to discuss options available to you.

The Voluntary Register allows people who have been involved in donor conception in Victoria to record information about themselves and their wishes regarding exchanging information with other people on the register, including donor siblings.

If two or more applicants are matched on the Voluntary Register, they are each contacted and can exchange information, if they both wish.

If there is no corresponding link on the Voluntary Register, then you will need to wait until someone you are linked with applies. Many donor-conceived people are unaware of their origins so will not have applied.

Some donor-conceived people may be concerned that they are dating or in a relationship with a potential half-sibling. Non- identifying information can help to rule out potential donor siblings. However, if the dates correspond with your partner, you can ask them to apply to see if their details are found on the Central Register.

Genetic testing is also an option.

Regardless of when the donor donated, the donor has no legal rights or obligations to a child born as a result of a donation. Donors are not the legal parent and do not appear on a donor-conceived person’s birth certificate. Donors are not responsible for maintenance or any financial responsibility towards donor- conceived offspring.

Donor-conceived people do not have a legal claim on their donor’s estate.

Sample letter from a donor-conceived person:

Dear Peter,

My name is Laura and I believe that I was born as a result of your donation. Over the years I have thought a lot about what to say to you. There is so much I would like to tell you. I would like to firstly thank you for donating and giving me the gift of life. Without your help my Mum and Dad would not be parents and I would not be here.

I also want you to know that I am not asking or expecting anything of you. I hope my letter does not cause you any distress. I do not wish to cause any disruption in your life or to intrude on your family. If you do not wish to have contact with me I will understand.

One day I would love to meet you if you would like, but that is entirely your decision. Perhaps we could correspond for a while and get to know each other a little first. I would be very interested to know about your medical history, what you are like and whether we share any similarities in personality, interests or appearance.

I imagine you might have some questions about me too. I grew up believing I was the biological child of my Dad. When I was around 15 years old, my parents explained that they needed the help of a donor to have me. I am now 34 years old. I married a wonderful man, named Dave, 7 years ago. We have 2 beautiful children, Sarah who is five and Ben who is two. I work as a nurse part time and I enjoy swimming and reading.

Ever since I knew about you, I have thought about you and wish you very well,

Laura

Sample letter from a parent:

Dear Donor,

I don’t know how to begin to thank you for the unique and precious gift you have given me. I am a 37 year old single woman and thanks to you I am now a mother to my cherished daughter, Olivia, who is four years old.

There are no words that can express the gratitude for your kindness and compassion. It takes a very special person to help someone that you don’t know and have never met.

Saying thank you doesn’t seem enough. I look at my beautiful daughter and think about how my life has changed since I have had her. I now can’t imagine my life without her. I can assure you that she will be loved and well looked after. If you would like, I am happy to send you a photo of her.

If you would be interested in having updates as to how my daughter is going, I would be only too happy to send you an annual letter on her progress. If you would possibly feel comfortable to meet one day in the future so we can thank you personally we would be keen to do this. No pressure! I will respect whatever you and your family feel comfortable with.

I sincerely hope your life is as full of happiness as the happiness you have given me,

Best wishes and thank you again,

Olivia’s Mum, Linda

Sample letter from a donor:

Dear Donor Daughter/Son,

I wanted to let you know that over the years I have wondered about the people who may have been born as a result of my donation. Are they happy, healthy and well looked after? Do they know they were created with some extra help from me? Do they want more information about me – my medical history, my personality and interests and my appearance?

Perhaps it would help you to know why I donated. I was a young person at the time. The clinic was looking for donors. I had some understanding of infertility because I had close friends who were having trouble becoming pregnant. I wanted to help people who wished to have children but could not do so. Since then I have married and had children of my own but I never forgot my donation.

I just want to let you know that I am happy to give you this information and to possibly meet if you would like this…or not. I am comfortable to do whatever you would like. I am very conscious of your feelings and also, of your parents’ wishes and certainly don’t want to intrude. I am very clear that I am not your parent and I want to reassure them and you that I don’t want to take on a parenting role as you have these already.

I wish you all the very best in your life,

Chris